Who Am I, Again? - complete script

WHO AM I, AGAIN?

a verbal collage of stories about Traumatic Brain Injury

COMPLETE SCRIPT

(as of January 2017)

Thank you for coming to this event,
I’d especially like to thank…for hosting and…

Now the name of this performance is Who Am I, Again?,
and, well, I am Lethan

And what I’m going to do tonight is share with you a verbal collage of stories about Traumatic Brain Injury,
beginning with my story.

****************************************

I was 17 years old,
A high school senior in Bloomsburg, Pennsylvania,
Small town Pennsylvania,
and I was ready to get out of Bloomsburg.

See, I had a plan -
I was going to be an actor

Okay, well, study theatre in…
I don’t know…New York…Los Angeles…where are we now…? Anyplace that wasn’t small town Pennsylvania.

And I was at that age, I was having a lot of fights with my parents,
you know, I would say things like, 
“Mom, Dad, I don’t Need you anymore - you are just the weights holding me down, like, keeping my creative spirit from soaring!
I am going to do whatever I want to do, Okay!

Ummm….
can I borrow ten bucks.”

So that’s where I was, that’s the Setting for the story.

The date, November 4th, 1999.
Its a little after 7 o’clock in the evening, I’m driving my sister to her school,

See, its a small school, and her eighth grade class has decided to have a sleepover party at the school, and because I used to attend - and just got my license - I’m elected as the chauffeur,

and When I get there, I remember reminiscing with my former French teacher,
getting into the car, waving goodb-
Auvour…

And the last thing I remember is seeing my French teacher, in my rearview mirror,
waving goodbye, to me, as I drove off into the night.

***********************************

Now, like I said, this is a verbal collage of stories,
and while researching this story, I became involved with The Crumley House,
a brain injury rehabilitation and living center, located in Limestone, Tennessee.

And while there, I became acquainted with the residents at the Crumley House,
Larry, Sarah, Tony,
and I got to hear their stories,

And when Larry’s story begins,
he was just your average 12 year old boy,

Well, I was a military brat, so I moved around a lot,
Base to base
to base,
and I remember, at that age, I was always climbing on things -
Rocks, you got the one story barracks - I was on top - and trees -
I remember the last base I was on, we were stationed in Germany, and they had this one tree that just went on forever.
You could climb
to Infinity and Beyond.
And that’s what I was trying to do, so everyday I would climb just a little bit higher,
and higher,
and one day I climbed just a little bit too high, and the branches up there,
they’er not that strong and I…

And that was that.

*********************************************

For Sarah there was no warning.

Not really,
I had just dropped my daughters at Little Angles Daycare,
I was going through a green light - it had just turned green -
and Boom.

There was no warning.

*********************************************

Tony doesn’t actually remember the day of his accident with his fiancé.

Well, not the day, or the week leading up to it,
But I remember ten days previous to the accident,
I’m sitting there with my fiancé and my soon to be mother-in-law,
We was making plans for the wedding,
she and I, we’re arguing about - wineglasses or something,
My fiancé’s sitting over there -

and the hardest thing I had to, kinda keep re-teaching myself as I “came back to life” after this accident with my fiancé,
I was the only survivor.

***************************************************

My mother was in her home office when she got the call.

It was late, after eight,
i was finishing up paperwork and the telephone rang - who
I picked up the phone,

and learned my son had been involved in a  serious automobile accident,
He had been life flighted to Geisinger Medical Center,
He was in a Coma -

and there are moment when the world will freeze,
Thoughts, emotions, they don’t make sense,
Frozen as you try to comprehend…

But the world continues to move,
and I needed to tell his father - he was at work - I needed -

I put down the phone.
Collected my things.
Turned out the lights.
And made sure to take the dog out before I left.

I didn’t know when I would return.

*****************************************************

Sarah remembers, the night of her accident,

I was moved to a large, empty room.

And there, I had a conversation,
with God.

And I closed my eyes, lay my head in God’s lap,
and God told me I had a decision to make.

******************************************************

My mother remembers arriving at the hospital,

Moving through the maze of corridors - dead ends,
Trying to figure out where the put my son-

Seeing my son’s body,
Through observation glass.
Lying on a table,
tied down with wires and tubes.

Silent, Still.

And I said, Lethan, you will live.
Here me!
You will live.

And I closed my eyes, and began to pray.

I heard a voice - behind me.

There was a doctor -
tall, long white robe, full white beard, kind face and -
and these eyes that, Knew things.

Are you alright mam?

Me?  oh, I’m fine -
well, my son was in a, car accident
and I was praying because

Well, I am a clinical psychologist, and I have read several Blind studies that have shown the healing effects of prayer.

Mam, you don’t need to be blind to pray.

************************************************

My father remembers that first night, staying at the hospital.

Sitting next to my son’s bed

I didn’t sleep.

Couldn’t sleep
in the uncomfortable hospital chairs.

And I knew You would live.

I didn’t know why, I didn’t know how,
but I knew,
That for once in your life you would listen to your mother.

************************************************
Larry tells me about his grandmother,

And there is No Way to get my grandmother on board a plane -
If she had to go from…
from California her home in Tennessee, and she could either fly or Walk,
She would go off and buy herself a good pair of hiking boots,
but when my accident happened, my dad was stationed in Germany,
and within a week she had flown across the ocean, and was by my bed,
eyes closed,
lip, praying.

************************************************

Ryan is my best friend, and he was at the high school football game the night of the accident,

and we noticed the rescue ’helicopter pass overhead, but…

and the next day was the SAT test, and we see Lethan isn't there,
but its a Saturday, so who knows, right?

And after the testing we we go to the breezeway of the school -
It’s got benches
windows on both sides - you see out to the parking lot…
and we’re meeting there so we can go out to Denny’s Restaurant for coffee,
conversation,
cigarettes,

and I look out the window and I see my mom walking across the parking lot -

The hell was she doing here!?
Mom’s are not supposed part of the coffee and cigarettes…

but there’s something on her face - she looks worried -
What’s up mom?

She told them about the accident.

************************************************

Well, the news was out -

And, remember, Bloomsburg is a small town,
which means that once one person knows something, Everybody knows it…

and that means soon,
there began to appear,
at the hospital,
PEOPLE
showing Love, Support,
giving offers of Help to my parents.

And my parents were gratefully Accepting all these offers of help,
and on the phone with insurance companies,
and running back and forth between the hospital,
work,
my sister at school,

and trying to figure out What the Hell the Doctors are saying!

And I’m told about my mother being in this room,
filled with doctors throwing this conglomeration of technical terms,
and pushing papers -
some they should sign, some just read -
and the pedologist wants -
but the cardiologist needs -
the orthodontic history -
and your son might need to have Brain Surgery -

and my mother,
she finally stepped forward,
and she said,

“STOP!
Get into line!
One at a time, Please!

Okay, what do you need?”

And still more offers of help continued to arrive at the hospital
and my parents,
they were thankful for this love,
they were honored,
they were…

exhausted.

and they didn’t want to turn anyone Away, but they didn’t want to -
they couldn’t deal with All of the People All of the Time -

So they finally got this idea that maybe the could have…a prayer service.
some Event where they could bring the people together,
and anyone who wanted to show their support could come,
offer help,
and then go away.


They were given use of the hospital chapel for the event,
but didn’t make a big deal of it -
told a few close friends,
people at church,

the evening of the service came
and the chapel was filled.
Extra chairs were brought in - people were standing in the back.

And once everyone had come in, found a…place
No one really knew what to do.

My parents had decided to run this service in the Quaker style of worship,
that’s where everyone sits together in silence to pray, meditated, be with one another,
and if anyone was “Moved by the Light”, they could stand a share a thought,
prayer,
joke, whatever felt right -
and my parents thought this would be a good, nondenominational, all inclusive style of worship,
and they were right,
In theory,

Unfortunately, for the majority of the people present, the only thing they actually knew about Quakers was that Maybe it had something to do with Quaker Oats
and Nobody knew what to do.
So the service began…
Silent.

There was some shuffling of chairs, whispering in the back,

and no-one said a word for thirty-five minutes.

and my parents were just starting to think that maybe they had made a mistake,
that they should end this early and try something different another night,
when Susan,
a friend from elementary school,
suddenly felt Moved by the Light,
and she stood and shared a story…

and this Story, it hit something -
it - opened a floodgate because stories began to pour out of the people

Stories about laughing together,
working together,
classes, parties, dates,
stories about that time we all got naked and went streaking downtown…

So they told a few stories I had hoped my parents would never hear.

But people began to laugh,
to Smile,
and a transformation…from a service of sorrows to a celebration of Love,
Life,
of Community coming together.

And the next morning, I woke from my coma.

************************************************

For Tony,

Well like I said, I don’t actually remember the day of accident,
but I remember just AS the accident was happening -

Waking up - I’m in my car
Though the windshield I see the front of my car smashing into this
Roadside embankment,
while the back wheels of my car keep pushing forward, pushing the center of my car straight Up,
throwing Me straight up
though the roof of my car,
straight UP
into the air
Up a good two…three thousand kilometers -

and I remember getting into this line.

It’s a long line,
but I’m about halfway through, and its moving fast,
doesn’t take

And I remember at the front of the line is this Big man,
I mean, he’s strong, he’s-

He’s an angel.

And he looks to me, says, “It’s not your time yet.”

And I remember falling -
wind rushing past my face -
I look down I see the Earth -
The World getting larger - Larger
and I remember SLAMMING into my body.

When I woke, I had been in a coma for 9 months.

************************************************

After I returned, my recovery continued rapidly.

We still had visitors at the hospital, though it in the same numbers as before,
and my best friend Ryan remembers one time when he came to visit me.

And it was weird.

I mean, here’s my best friend and he’s alive, but…

Well, he and I, we used to talk about things, you know, Talk, like…you know…

Books, Music,
Movies,
Chicks - we would Talk,
and here he is, having trouble forming complete sentences…

and it was weird.

My father sat in the corner, and he saw that it was hard for Ryan, but…

Well, it came time for Ryan to leave, and he stood to go, but I said,
“Wait, Ryan, where are you going?”

“Uhh…dude, I got to go I got, uh, band rehearsal.”

“Wait for me.  I’m want to go with you.”

Ryan, uncomfortable.

He knew I couldn’t actually go with him - that I had to stay here in the hospital, but did I know that?
He looked to my father for help, and my father quickly stood, coming over to say that what I wanted to do was nice by Ryan….

But I cut him off.

“No, I know I can’t be with you Physically,
but Ryan,
My Penis will be with you.”

And I laughed.

I had a made a joke.

This was big,
I mean, Joking.

Joking - it’s hard - abstract thought - its another way of thinking.

This joke - My Penis - it demonstrated a new level of cognition.

************************************************

Sarah,
She Knows she can’t walk
can’t write, can’t Read

I know that I cannot Remember yesterday,
but I can keep getting better -
Keep on living
just, L-I-V-I-N
I just need to keep a Positive attitude,
Always looking forward -
Good energy,
because negative energy, it will RUIN you.

I know this because
before my accident, I was in a bad place,

Real depressed.
Hurting myself sometimes.
Listening to a lot of Tori Amos music.

And since the accident, I can’t remember much of anything,
but when I woke up, I remembered Tori’s music,
her words,

Now I have all her CDs so I put one in my Compact Disk player
and I began to sing her song and…

and it was
Sad,

made me, cry…

and That is not good for me,
so I took that CD and I broke it.
Snapped it right in half.
Then I looked for every Tori CD I could find and I broke them too.

but you know it’s funny.
I can’t,
can’t remember where I was yesterday,
what I ate,
sometimes the names of my children,
but Still I hear Tori’s music and…

But that is not Good for me.

************************************************

I remember the first memory I remembered.

See, my recovery at Geisinger Medical Center was progressing rapidly, so they moved me to Magee Rehabilitation Hospital in Philadelphia,
and that’s where my memory returned.

Now, my first memory, it’s just a flash - a picture in my head,
but
I remember I’m sitting in my wheelchair at Magee Rehabilitation,
my best friend Ryan is sitting across from me, and we’re -
talking about something -
and my parents and Ryan’s parents and standing by the window,
the afternoon sunlight is streaming in,
and they’re Laughing about…
something

I don’t know what they’re laughing at -
don’t know what Ryan and I are talking about,
like I said, its just a picture in my head,

But I’ve Described this picture to the people who were there,
and They DO remember what was happening because I had just told my first story,
well, Ryan and I were telling it together -

I began with me telling a dream I had had in which my favorite rock band,
the band Phish,
had decided to throw a charity concert at Magee Rehabilitation Hospital,
and because it was my dream, they decided to throw the concert in My room,

and here Ryan jumps and says that if they’re playing the concert in my room, I should be allowed to jam with them,
and so I ask the keyboardist if I can sit in, and he says “Sure, why not.”

so I sit down at the piano and we begin this 7 hour
musical improvisation,
that explores the depths of the question What is Music,

continuing until Dogs
begin to climb out of the piano,
all sizes,
dogs just, woof woof
chasing everyone around

so the drummer needs to step out from behind the drums,
pull out his, uh
vacuum cleaner,
use the hose to just suck up the dogs,

Now the guitarist, Trey,
he’s Freaking out so bad the bassist just needs to turn to him, says,
“Hey, Trey man, mellow.”

Meanwhile I’m flying overhead,
like this - Superman -
watching all this chaos unfold…

and I’ve been told that this first story was…
interesting…

************************************************

But more pictures begin to stick,
I remember faces, voices, events…

and I remember it was hard, and,
Frustrating.

Embarrassing

I mean, here I was, a seventeen year old boy,
having to be retaught how to Do things I knew I should Know how to do…
like,
Like Walking -
Walking Technique…

heel, toe, heel, toe, heel toe…

But I wan’t doing it right, so I had to keep practicing…

Heel, toe,
heel…

And I remember

when I was ready to give up.

I was lying on my side,
on my bed at Magee rehabilitation hospital,
my back was toward the window, chest facing the lobby…

and my memory had just begun to return, so I was starting to realize
I had changed.

My skills, my brain

me - had all

changed.

So that meant my dreams - my plans - they all had to change as well.

But I didn’t know what I wanted to do Now,
I didn’t know what I Could do now -

Like, I’m being given all these Stupid tests to do -
Oh, can you swallow? - Yes, I can swallow -
and then when show that I Can do it, they all celebrate like I’m some…
FOUR year old -
I’M NOT FOUR!!!

And what does it matter, anyway?
As soon as I get one thing done there are ten more do and I was tired…
I wanted to rest…
I was…Done.

And I remember…Sensing someThing
come into the room through the window behind me…

And I didn’t look - I knew no one was there
I was on the sixth floor of the hospital and the window was all bared up - nothing could enter, but Some
thing came into the room…
over to me,
reached out - Touched
my back
Eased into my body.

and for just a moment, I felt…peace…
hope…

And then the sensation passed,
the -
Thing, left

but I remember that moment,
and I didn’t give up.

************************************************

For Larry, this is his second stay at the Crumley House.

Only had one accident, but two stays,
see, the first time I stayed at the Crumley house, I had just graduated high school,
and I heard all these stories in my school about people getting ready to…
go to college…get a job…I don’t know…
DO things…
and I wanted to Do things to,
and I couldn’t at the Crumley House, there are so many rules and restrictions, and I couldn’t DO all that I wanted to Do -
So I left.

I went out, found a…job…
stayed at an apartment with some -
some people I knew, and…

it was hard.
Like, no one understood me -
where I was coming from, why I needed help sometimes, and…

I got real depressed.

So I thought back in my life, to when I was happier,
and I remembered my time at the Crumley House,
see there, people knew what I needed,
understood me, where I was coming from.

I had friends
and I didn’t feel,
Different.

************************************************

I remember when I left Magee Rehabilitation Hospital.

It was December 23rd, and I was going to be Home for Christmas
What’s more, I was going to be home for New Years Eve,

and this was the big one -
into the Year 2000,
and, assuming we weren’t all killed by that Y2K Bug - remember that?
I was returning home for the Mother of all New Years Celebrations -

well, that’s what it seemed like to me -

See, Bloomsburg, my town, was going all out with a First Night celebration -

It’s this
city wide spectacle to bring in the New Year,
and there was going to be live music downtown,
and games,
and street theater,
and the rotary club was dancing the polka,
and Lots of Fried food,

and it was my First trip downtown,
and Everyone  was there.

And I was walking with my parents,
and my friends were there,
and my parents’ friends,
and people who I had never met before but who had heard about me through their friends,

and I thanked Each and Every person for their love and support,
and I told them,
without your love and support I would not be where I am today,
So thank you.
Thank you.
Thank You.

And then I would laugh,
and I remember Balloons, and confetti, streamers, and thinking This is My New Year

I was returning home
Alive.

I had been given a chance to view life in a new way.
I had been to the Gates of Hell
and I had visited Heaven.
and now it was time for me to share all that I had learned.

And it was going to be good - it was going to be Real good -
A new Life with new Millennium.

Here we go…
Five,
Four,
Three,
Two…

************************************************

Ever since my accident,
I’ve had a hard time relating to other people.

See, I know some things,
because of what I’ve gone through -

I almost died,
I’ve seen God.

And other people, they have a hard time relating to that.

************************************************

A lot of times, in Traumatic Brain Injury,
one of the parts of the brain that is injured is the frontal lobe region of the brain,
this is the part of the brain involved in emotional self control,

and for Sarah, ever since her accident, she gets real excited, real quick.

She also Cries a lot.

Doesn't understand it, that’s just
how she feels.

************************************************

I fought with my parents,

a lot.

I remember one time after a fight with my mother,
she could see that the fight was going Nowhere so she had
Ended it by going into her office and closing the door.
And I was Not okay with this! because!…!  Because!…!
Well, because I could see she was
Kinda right and that was, kinda, being an idiot…

but I wanted her to know why I was being such an Idiot, it was because She…!

And I Stormed into that office, not sure if I was going to apologize or Scream at her -

- and she’s sitting at her desk,
glasses in one had, tissue in the other…
red eyes staring at…nothing…

She looks at me,
“What.  Lethan, what.”

And I knew that both my parents did Try to work with me,
and they loved me,
and they were trying to help,
and I wanted to work with them, but They just Refused to see things My way!

I didn’t want much! just things a Normal seventeen year old boy wants to do…
Hang out with my friends and stuff…

************************************************
 but my friends didn’t always want to hang out with me.

It was just hard, you know.

We’re always being told if he does this do that and if he does that…
I mean,
it felt like babysitting -

Sometimes…

and dude, we never knew what you would do…
I mean, you’d go from laughing to…Yelling…to laughing again real quick…

and the laugh - it was almost like this, this Donkey Bray of something.
It was scary.

I mean, we just wanted to
hang out, you know.

Why couldn’t you just be with your sister, I mean, like, she was there, right?

************************************************

You may have noticed, that I haven’t spoken much about my sister -
I dropped her off at school and then…

Now she was a large part of my recovery, and involved in the process,
but,
her story is just so different, it doesn’t easily fit into the frame of my story that we’ve been using,

but I want to highlight her story here,
because my sister tells the story of a young woman who witnessed her brother’s accident and rehabilitation.

Witnessed.

I was half way through my eighth grade year,
he had just dropped me off at school,
when it happened.

And I witnessed the whirlwind of action and drama surrounding the accident.
Witnessed how hard both my parents worked - I hardly saw either of them for two months.
And I witnessed the explosion of joy with my brother’s return

from the hospital.

He was coming home from the hospital, that must mean that he’s better, right?
maybe now things could return to normal,

Maybe a better normal.

But I witnessed the return.
His moods -
anger.
I remember getting into fights,
being afraid I was going to be hit…

The hand would raise,
pause,

and I witnessed the struggle on his face, between rage and reason.

And he did hit me,
once,
not hard, but it hurt.

I wanted to help -
to be part of the recovery process.
I wanted to bring my brother back.

because That, was not my bother,

but I never knew what I could do,
what my job could be,
I felt I was always just getting in the way
Until, one day, it was a Saturday afternoon, and I heard my brother and my father fighting downstairs.

and it was loud, so I stayed upstairs,
but after the fight was over -
the screaming had stopped -
I went down,

and I saw my father,
curled up, on the red couch, like…
Crying.

And my father saw me, pulled himself together, carried on…

and that’s when I knew my job.

I had to be strong.
I had to be, Independent.

I had to Stay out of the way so that my parents could take care of my…older…brother.

It didn’t make sense, but I knew what I had to do.

And my sister took on that job.
Displaying maturity beyond her years.
Finding solace in her friends, her community.
Remaining True to Who She Is,
and becoming an inspiration for her older brother.

************************************************

I wanted to be like my sister, I wanted to remain true to Who I Am, but…
Who Am I!

I remember being the Gimp.
That was my title, Gimp.
It was a Nickname my friends gave me
Gimp.

I couldn’t deny it, you know.
I couldn’t walk right,
couldn’t talk right,
couldn’t - Laugh right!
I was…A gimp.

But at least I was somebody.
At least I had a title,
and an excuse.

Whenever I screwed something up I could say, “Hey, don’t blame me, I’m a gimp, remember!”
And they would laugh and I would,
bray, along with them.

It was funny,
I guess.

************************************************

Tony, used to have things.

I had, you know, THINGS

Things like
a car, house,
job, career, friends
I had a lover, I had things.

And then, just like that -

it’s all gone.
Now all I’ve gots is myself.

************************************************

I remember praying.

God…

They
say I am Here because of You.

They say you must have
Kept me alive for some reason.

They say you Breathed life into my dead, body,
but God Why!

WHY!

why?

You took everything I Am.
Everything.

My,
my skills, my friends,
my self control,
you took it and you threw it out, like, like it was nothing.

Like I am nothing.

On November 4th
I died.

now I’m just waiting for this body to catch up.

************************************************

Larry,
did try to commit suicide
one time.

But It wasn’t all my fault,
see,
I was on these new anti depressants, so my head was in a weird place,
and I also had these pills…

When I took them, they made me feel real good,
kinda high,

and I knew if I took too many of these pills -
more than one -
I could OD and, like, maybe die,

But,

I don’t know,
like,
everything just…
SUCKED,

A lot.

And it wasn’t getting better,

So I thought - the pills -
Maybe I could, I don’t know,
feel good as I go out.

So I tried to OD on my medication.

they found me,
got me to the hospital,
Turns out, couldn’t even do That right.

************************************************

I remember my high school graduation.

Now, I was still graduating with the class I had been a part of -
no delay -
but that’s because I had already met most of the requirements
and my school was able to give me a tutor to
coddle me through the couple remaining,

and I don’t remember much about the ceremony itself,
up until I got my diploma.

See, we all got into line,
alphabetical order,
names were called,
Ryan before me,

and then, Lethan Candlish.

I walked halfway across the stage,
shook Vice Principal Kellerman’s hand,
took my diploma,
and -

Now, like we said, Bloomsburg is tiny,
so everybody’s all up in everybody’s business,
and Everyone had heard something about my accident And my Small Town Miracle Recovery,

so as I finished crossing the stage, people began to applaud for me.

Truth is they stood up!

I got a standing ovation!

Now, I see this, and my theatrical instincts take over, so I turn,
face full front,
Deep bow.

And they laugh.

and I walked back to my seat thinking I made it…
Yippee

 I wasn’t proud of myself - why should I be?
The second half of my senior year had been a joke.
Must have been pretty funny too - the audience had laughed.

I was alone.
Tired.
Afraid.

I heard the name James Edgars called and I looked up on stage and saw James
in his wheelchair,
wheeling himself across the stage to…

See James has muscular dystrophy, so he’s always been in a wheel chair, at least as long as I’ve known him.

And, well, James had worked harder than anyone to be graduating high school at all,
I mean yeah, he had been given a lot of help, a lot of aids, but..

And as he took his diploma from Mr. Kellerman, he had this smile that Outshone the stage lights.

and as he finished his cross the audience applauded for him - more than they had for me.

And I began to applaud as well.
James had done it.

I had done it!

All of us, we were graduating.

And after the ceremony Mrs. Edgars, Jame’s mother, found me to congratulate me on getting through high school,

and I looked at her,
and I looked at James, smiling next to her,
and I looked back at her and I said, “well, thanks, but,
Well, congratulations to you -
To Both of you.
I had half a year, but you
both made it through
everything - Congratulations.”

And she looked at me
said, “huh,
well I guess life gives everyone challenges,
and we all just
Get through them differently.”

************************************************

Sarah has made a commitment,
to getting better.

One day, I will write again,
One day, I will read,
One day, I will walk.

It just might take a little bit of time first,
that’s all.

************************************************
 Tony has a simple philosophy on life.

Three words:
Born,
Live,
Die.

It’s what you do with that middle word that makes you who you are.

************************************************

Larry tell me, that if he could have any wish in the world…

Any wish at all…well…I don’t know what I would wish for,
but one thing I wouldn’t wish,
I wouldn’t wish that my accident Didn’t happen.

I’m not saying I’m glad my accident happened,
that I think anyone should Want for it to happen,
I mean, its been hard,
but,
well, I met everyone I know now because of my accident,
my recovery and all that,
and I’ve done a lot of cool things, and…
well, my accident has kinda made me who I am today.
and I’m okay with that.

************************************************

My mother tells me about one time when she and I were having a conversation,
soon after I had returned from the hospital.

And she remembers this because the fights were just starting to become more frequent, and it was hard to have just a serious conversation,
but we were having one then,

and she asked me if I ever felt like I was a different person after the accident,
with everything that had changed,

and I looked at her,
and I said
I am Lethan.

So there you have it.

 Who am I again?

I am Lethan.