Scene 9 - Refusing to Fly

*********Scene 9 - Refusing to Fly***************************************

Larry tells me about his grandmother,

And there is No Way to get my grandmother on board a plane -
If she had to go from…
from the state of California to her home in Tennessee,
and she could either fly or Walk,
She would go off and buy herself a good pair of hiking boots,
but when my accident happened, my dad was stationed in Germany,
and within a week she had flown across the ocean, and was by my bed,
eyes closed,
lip, praying.

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For this entry, I start by highlighting Larry’s grandmother abandoning her refusal to fly - when brain injury occurred to her grandson, this woman was required to adjust how she interacts with the world in order to provide support. 

When discussing my early recovery, my father recalled, “We were told, with brain injury, everything changes.”  Brain injury is a life changing event - for the survivor as well as those close to the survivor.  This is not any sort of revelation - I’m sure this idea has been shared by countless physicians and rehabilitation therapists - but to gain an understanding of this statement, emphasis must be put on the word changing.  These changes occur for the survivor - learning to navigate the world with his or her new skill set - as well as for those who support the survivor - a caregiver must adjust one’s life to support the survivor coming to understand the new boundaries imposed by the brain injury.

After TBI, the social norms and rules that have been established must be altered to fit the new set of physical and cognitive circumstances.  Furthermore, as part of a recovery, socially abrasive behaviors and attitudes will often come out in a survivor - for the caregiver, helping the survivors to adjust these unacceptable behaviors will be difficult due to the brain’s recovery.  As stated on www.brainline.org, “Successful reintegration into the community and return to activities of choice is often dependent on the individual’s ability to modify maladaptive behaviors that may result form the injury” (Interventions for Behavioral Problems After Brain Injury).  For this reason, people providing support must be willing to change personal habits and behaviors to recognize and respond to maladaptive behaviors rising from a survivor’s injury.  The rules must change, and supporting people must be willing to change established norms in order to provide support.

In the scene above, we learn of Larry’s grandmother looking at her personal rule (not willing to fly) and adjusting that to provide support for her grandson through her presence.  This is a relatively clear example of rules adjusting to fit the circumstances of recovery, but the required plans and habits that must change after TBI can become much more convoluted - adjusting one’s social and/or work habits, changing long term plans to support the recovery, the altering of social roles within a family structure - after TBI, everything changes.