Scene 12 - It's Not Your Time

**************Scene 12 - It's Not Your Time*************************************

For Tony,

Well like I said, I don’t actually remember the day of accident,
but I remember just AS the accident was happening -

Waking up - I’m in my car
Though the windshield I see the front of my car smashing into this
Roadside embankment,
while the back wheels of my car keep pushing forward, pushing the center of my car straight Up,
throwing Me straight up
though the roof of my car,
straight UP
into the air
Up a good two…three thousand kilometers -

and I remember getting into this line.

It’s a long line,
but I’m about halfway through, and its moving fast,
doesn’t take

And I remember at the front of the line is this Big man,
I mean, he’s strong, he’s-

He’s an angel.

And he looks to me, says, “It’s not your time yet.”

And I remember falling -
wind rushing past my face -
I look down I see the Earth -
The World getting larger - Larger
and I remember SLAMMING into my body.

When I woke, I had been in a coma for 9 months.

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 As a storyteller, I love this scene - the powerful imagery - shock at being thrown through the roof of the car…wonder at arriving to Heaven’s waiting room…horrific grander when falling toward earth - each creating a dynamic picture.  Whenever I perform this scene, I revel in the frames as they pass through the movie reel of my mind.  Verbally painting these pictures for an audience is a pleasure and a privilege.

That said, when observing this experience from the frame of strictly rational inquiry, the “reality” of this scene could be called into question.  Please note, as of yet, no-one has actually called the truth of this scene into question, but the fantastic images really beg the question - did this really happen? 

To which I respond, does it matter?

The objective “reality” of Tony’s situation is irrelevant - we cannot refute his experience - it is not our experience.  This memory clearly has an effect on Tony’s character, therefore it must have some sort of reality, even if that reality is only in his mind.  In truth, the only “reality” any memory can have is in the mind - and the way it affects a person is dependent upon the story constructed around that memory.

That said, this story realizes a truth after brain injury - if you survive a serious injury, brain injury or otherwise, it is necessarily true that you have survived.  Be this the result of fate, destiny, biological luck, or something else, the result is the same - “It’s not your time…” - you are alive. 

In a previous entry (Scene 6: God’s Lap), we discussed one’s necessary decision after a traumatic incident:
to accept the accident/situation and work with the new reality
    or
to attempt to deny what happened and returned to life as it was. 

This scene has a more fatalistic tone - for Tony, “it’s not your time…”.  Whether he was fated to keep living or simply not to die is irrelevant - he has woken into a new existence and he has decisions to make.