Scene 17, Part 2 - A Spiritual Experience

**********Scene 17, Part 2 - A Spiritual Experience***********

And I remember

when I was ready to give up.

I was lying on my side,
on my bed at Magee rehabilitation hospital,
my back was toward the window, chest facing the lobby…

and my memory had just begun to return, so I was starting to realize
I had changed.

My skills, my brain

me - had all

changed.

So that meant my dreams - my plans - they all had to change as well.

But I didn’t know what I wanted to do Now,
I didn’t know what I Could do now -

Like, I’m being given all these Stupid tests to do -
Oh, can you swallow your food? - Yes, I can swallow -
and then when show that I Can do it, they all celebrate like I’m some…
FOUR year old -
I’M NOT FOUR!!!

And what does it matter, anyway?
As soon as I get one thing done there are ten more do and I was tired…
I wanted to rest…
I was…Done.

And I remember…Sensing someThing
come into the room through the window behind me…

And I didn’t look - I knew no one was there
I was on the sixth floor of the hospital and the window was all bared up - nothing could enter, but Some
thing came into the room…
over to me,
reached out - Touched
my back
Eased into my body.

and for just a moment, I felt…peace…
hope…

And then the sensation passed,
the -
Thing, left

but I remember that moment,
and I didn’t give up.

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In a previous entry, I explained my religious beliefs (My Spiritual Belief) - I am agnostic, leaning toward the atheist side of the question, yet I recognize that The Question is one that I cannot conceive of truly understanding.  Thus, I admit “I do not know if there is a God”.

To expand - my questions and quandaries lead me to the suggestion of “No, there is not a God”, but throughout this blog, I highlight the importance and reality of one’s personal story.  If a personal story has reality for the storyteller, how can I dispute one who - in his or her personal story - has had the experience of God.  Furthermore, how can I dispute the story of such an experience when I am the storyteller.

The moment described in the scene above is what keeps this Question alive in my head.  
Please know, I do not take this experience as an answer of “Yes, there is a God” - I can cite hosts of articles that explain or suggest reasons for spiritual hallucinations - objectively critical articles that I would normally trust - but this experience denies and overwhelms any rational explanation.

In a previous entry (again, My Spiritual Belief), I explain my belief in a collective energy and the “serendipity of life” - and I hold to these beliefs - but the experience described above makes me want to believe in something more-guiding-higher-conscious -

Perhaps I want a Deity because it makes a better story?

Whatever the case, I’ll leave you with this - For all the fantasy and reality that these words entail:

Here is my story.