Scene 5-My Mother's Call

***********************Scene 05 - My Mother’s Call****************************

My mother was in her home office when she got the call.

It was late, after eight,
i was finishing up paperwork and the telephone rang - who…-
I picked up the phone,

and learned my son had been involved in a  serious automobile accident,
He had been life-flighted to Geisinger Medical Center,
He was in a Coma -

and there are moment when the world will freeze,
Thoughts, emotions, they don’t make sense,
Frozen as you try to comprehend…

But the world continues to move,
and I needed to tell his father - he was at work - I needed -

I put down the phone.
Collected my things.
Turned out the lights.
And made sure to take the dog out before I left.

I didn’t know when I would return.

***********************************************************************

In his book, Hero with a Thousand Faces, Joseph Campbell presents the “Hero’s Journey” as a sequence of events that is common in many heroic tales of folklore.  He goes on to suggest (as roughly summarized by me) that this sequence is common because it metaphorically mirrors the “journey” a person undertakes when he or she is shaken from normal events and goes through a “life transformation” - raising a child, puberty, marriage, etc…  The first stage in this journey is “The Call to Adventure” - when the hero of a story begins his or her quest.  In popular culture, we often think of a hero choosing to take on a quest, but an adventure may begin from some unforeseen circumstance or unintended event - in Campbell’s words “The adventure may begin as a mere blunder…” 

My mother was in her home office when she got the call.

It’s important to remember that brain injury affects more than just the survivor - the process of healing involves everyone.  In an instant, the world changes and everyone involved with a survivor begins his or her personal journey.  My mother is a psychologist and was finishing paperwork at her home office when her world changed.  In my storytelling, I use words to freeze-frame and slightly dramatize this instant, because it seems that moments of such great import should be given more emphasis - sustained a second longer so that realities can adjust - but in truth, the universe never slows - one instant will continue to last exactly one instant. 

In that instant, my mother did a remarkable thing - with emotions and information and questions crashing around her, she kept going.  I have been blessed by a family that, while often highly emotional, also has a pragmatic streak the size of the Mississippi, and - in that instant - my mother had the wisdom to recognize that This was what life had laid before her - it would be taking a great deal of her time so she had better make sure that things were as orderly as possible before she goes began on the road.  She didn’t deny or avoid reality, but did her best to be ready for it - this was not her decision, but the energies of her reality had shifted and she acknowledged the path that was presented to her.  No one chooses brain injury - the call comes and the hero must answer it.

Accepting the situation - first by mother and then by my father as soon as he was informed - was instrumental in shaping my path of recovery. A realistic approach that allowed my parents - and later me - to see the situation, evaluate choices, and take action on that information.  I do not mean to imply that this was an emotionless approach to recovery - emotions were always high - but my parents had the pragmatic wisdom to see that these emotions were recognized, acknowledged, allowed to remain - but told to stay off to the side so that they didn’t block a more realistic view of things.  This approach was certainly not the easiest way to approach recovery - nor can I say with 100% confidence that it always allowed the best decisions - but I do believe this approach provided a consistency-of-method to how my recovery would continue.  This consistency allowed me to feel that the progress of my recovery was stable, helping to create the ground work for my recovery in full to achieve the best possible results.

I do not mean to imply that it was ONLY my parents pragmatism that allowed for my recovery - there are infinite variables that factor into any circumstance - but I do believe that the approach taken by my parents was beneficial.  Not only did it encourage pragmatic and rational decisions, but it provided a bit of shelter from the torrential waves of emotion tormenting each moment of recovery - created a land where things tried to make sense. 

Every person involved with a recovery is a hero, and each hero faces unknown challenges.  It is the hero’s responsibility - as a survivor or caregiver - to face these challenges and find the path to transformation.

That’s my two-cents on the subject.  Thank you for reading - please comment below.