My Spiritual Beliefs

Following the script, the next scene in Who Am I, Again? brings up the experience of God and I feel that discussing the experience of God necessitates the question of God.  Furthermore, variations of a holy experience are discussed several times in the piece, so I will take the following entry to provide my answer to the question: Do I (Lethan) believe in God?

If a label must be implied, I am agnostic - I do not claim to know if there is or is not a God.  But to answer such an infinite question with a trite word or phrase - I believe/do not believe in God - seems flawed, so follow this:

We start by defining “God”.  I do not believe in the personified image of God - big dude, long beard, massive finger that he points at things with - this example is comical, but images of God in human form are consistently used to present God as an understandable concept - God?  We’re just like him.  As a storyteller, I understand the use of this idea, but do not subscribe to it - nor do I believe that most “believers” honestly view God in this humanoid form.  By my understanding, if God exists, God must be a force of perfect infinity that exceeds our even conceiving of comprehending its completeness of perfection.  If a concept is, by definition, beyond comprehension, how can I even hope of comprehending of it.  This leads to my agnostic view - not from a lack of thinking about the question, but a recognition that, by my logic, I cannot know.  If prodded, I would place myself on the atheist side of the agnostic spectrum - I find too many logical conundrums in the concept of God and would prefer objective evidence - but similarly, when reexamining this story, I have not found a fully satisfying answer that explains divine experiences - personal or collected from interviews.  For these reasons, I cannot claim to know whether God as a conscientious force exists - it is beyond me.

I do, however, believe in a collective energy - a force that might guide the course of macro and micro universal events.  I use the words “might guide” because sometimes this guidance happens, and other times not.  This is the energy that creates sudden serendipities from unexpected events - the odd decision to visit a new coffee shop where you meet the person who changes your life - going to work and being fired on the exact day you were planning on quitting - the situations are always specific improbabilities that, while improbable, nevertheless happen. 

The serendipity of life.

When examining the timeline of my life, there are many unrepeatable moments that have brought me to my current location.  These are moments that could have taken any of infinite other different directions, but for some particularity of what happened, that moment changed my life; moments in my life - apart from the accident - I think of approaching the local librarian about storytelling and being taken under his wing to find an unexpected career path - of deciding to try out a boardgames event where I met my girlfriend (now of nearly 3 years) - of visiting my philosophy professor and hearing her tell of her son’s experience teaching abroad in South Korea - the list could continue indefinitely.

I challenge you (the reader) to look at your timeline of life and recognize improbable decisions or occurrences that brought you to where you are now - maybe how you met your husband or wife, your current employment, where you currently live; something brought you to where you are now, and I suggest - more often than not - some of those events were almost absurdly improbable.  It is events such as these that I feel come from the energy or serendipity of life.

In a similar way, I do feel the course of this serendipitous energy is affected by people.  Groups coming together creates a powerful energy - as is demonstrated countless times in history - and if the motivation behind this energy is positive and pure, I recognize that great good can occur.  Some might suggest that the energy I describe is God by another name - and I have no problem with that - I don’t use the term “God” because I do not apply an independent consciousness or motivation to the energy.  I also do not imbue this energy with any objective “good” - the same way positive energy can lift one up, negative or despairing energy can drag one down and may produce a negative result. 

Please recognize this is NOT a suggestion of a “alternate religion” or a substitute for religion - this is simply my views on spirituality and what I believe about divine power.  I also encourage you to hold your personal beliefs, provided they do not lead to harmful action toward yourself or other people, and I am glad if your belief helps your life.  As an agnostic, I acknowledge that do not have the knowledge to determine what is divinely real, but this is the set of beliefs that helps me to find peace in the incomprehensible universe.

This is where I come from when discussing God.  Please note, I do not intend this belief to discredit or explain away any experiences of God - experience in any form is ineffable (too great to adequately communicate) and the experience of God is, again by definition, incomprehensible by anyone other than the person experiencing.  Instead, when discussing an experience of God, I will describe what this experience represents and/or questions it raises.


This was written to explain what I believe in my spirituality and to encourage conversation.  Beliefs are a near impossible thing to change through discussion, and I don’t seek to change any beliefs you have, but I would love to hear your thoughts - ideas that support or refute my beliefs will be encouraged, as long as they are delivered respectfully and without malice.

I also recognize that, as of now, these ideas are somewhat abstract and might seem a little “hocus pocus-ie” - I do not intend this and do not feel fully satisfied with my above presentation, but don't want to risk losing the focus and momentum of this blog because I’m stuck on an idea.  With that in mind, I would appreciate your questions to help me recognize where I need further clarification.

Thanks for reading and I look forward to your responses.