Scene 28 -- Responding to Suicidal Ideation (1/3)

****************Scene 28*****************

Larry,
did try to commit suicide
one time.

But It wasn’t all my fault,
see,
I was on these new anti depressants, so my head was in a weird place,
and I also had these pills…

When I took them, they made me feel real good,
kinda high,

and I knew if I took too many of these pills -
more than one -
I could OD and, like, maybe die,

But,

I don’t know,
like,
everything just…
SUCKED,

A lot.

And it wasn’t getting better,

So I thought - the pills -
Maybe I could, I don’t know,
feel good as I go out.

So I tried to OD on my medication.

they found me,
got me to the hospital,
Turns out, couldn’t even do That right.

*******************Commentary***********************************

Suicide rates increase after brain injury.

Depending on the source cited, studies indicate that suicide rates increase 2 - 4 times after TBI (Suicidality in people surviving a traumatic brain injury...clinical management  - Rates and Predictors of Suicidal Ideation During the First Year After Traumatic Brain Injury - 17% of people with traumatic brain injury attempted suicide)

The previous entry shared my experience with suicidal ideation, and I suspect that there are further thoughts of suicide that go unreported, as mine did — particularly in light of the responses I received concerning the previous article.  When I was in the midst of often having thoughts of suicide, I remember learning the “correct responses” to questions so that my ideation would not be recognized and I would not raise any further concerns for those around me.  If this is true for survivors other than myself, it suggests that instances of suicidal ideation may be greater than the amount reported in these studies.


Or I may be mistaken.  It may that caregivers and professionals are able to pull back the veil placed over ideation and are able to see such “unreported” impulses with more clarity than I give them credit — these are professional research studies, and the possibility of deceptive responses may have been factored into the study.  Whatever the case, I don’t want to dwell on this point — this is not criticism toward those studies — we can agree that there is a significant increase in both suicide attempts and ideation after brain injury.  This article — posted in three parts — is my attempt to address this truth.

It comes from my personal experience.  I cannot claim that I am an expert in the area of suicide, and should there be a conflict between my thoughts and those of a trained mental health professional, I encourage listening to professional recommendations over my ideas every time.  That said, I want this article to present something new — to provide something more than a series of quotations — therefore I have written what I learned from my journey through recovery and suicidal ideation.  My research into the subject seems to support the ideas that I share, but I ask for any responses that support or call into question my claims.  The goal is to provide the best information.

This article will be posted in three sections — First is the short introduction that you just finished — thank you for that, but please keep reading.  The next post (posted within the week) will be my suggestion to caregivers of how to respond to warning signs or fears of suicidal intention.  And the final posting is a message directed to survivors that shares my philosophy about suicide and why it is not the best option.


Thank you for diving into this topic with me.  It is a sad and scary reality that needs to be addressed — please keep up with these posts and share your thoughts.